Windows Phone 7 Fan Happy Microsoft Didn’t Screw It Up At the Last Minute, Like Usual

Longtime Microsoft advocate Paul Thurrott was visibly relieved today to find out that Windows Phone 7, the latest smartphone platform released by the Redmond giant, was not crippled at the last minute by some piece of idiotic bureaucracy, as he feared it would. “Most of the time, Microsoft takes what should be this wonderful new initiative, and they hobble it in some way, right before it goes out the door. Because they’re uncomfortable with remaining relevant, apparently.”

Thurrott, who runs The Supersite for Windows, a website dedicated to covering all things related to Microsoft, breathed a sigh of sweet relief as he clutched his new Samsung Focus to his chest, stroking the screen absently, while an array of smart tiles continually updated, displaying relevant information about his life and schedule. “It’s such a big company, and there are so many departments, each of whom fight to be the darling of the whole company, that their initiatives go down in flames most of the time. It’s as sad as it is predictable, but, hey, this time they didn’t cock it up! Have you seen Windows Phone 7? It does exactly what Microsoft said it would. Which is amazing.”

The Supersite for Windows hasn’t been updated for the past week, as Thurrott has been too stunned by the successful completion and launch of Windows Phone 7 even to write about it. “I’ve got a 4,000 word review that’s almost done, there’s a whole lot of info about their new media server, and I’ve even got some pictures of Windows 8’s new interface elements, which will blow people away if they’re not torn to shreds like they always are, but I’m in too much shock to get any of it on the site.”

“Typically, when Microsoft announces a new product or initiative, it’s met with a small amount of enthusiasm from the tech press, which is almost immediately squashed by that bitter taste we all have in the back of our mouths from all their previous announcements, where we got all excited by the idea of a new, grand future-tech, only to see the company release some bloated, incomplete piece of crap like Playsforsure.

“God, that was such a piece of crap.”

Windows Phone 7, a modern-looking smartphone operating system designed for speed of use, and intended to impart a sense of childlike joy to the user, seems to be bucking the longstanding trend of crash-and-burn product releases from Microsoft. It’s been garnering favourable reviews from across the entire tech industry, including long-time Apple fanboys, such as John Gruber of Daring Fireball. “Let me tell you something: when I heard that John Gruber liked this thing, I nearly stopped caring about it. It’s almost as bad as if Scoble said he liked the thing. And did you read any of those reviews? They all ended with the same boilerplate, like ‘I’ll recommend this as long as Microsoft doesn’t hobble it in some sort of stupid way that turns it into a functionless piece of steaming garbage, like they always do, the idiots.’ It’s like our lorem ipsum.”

When asked what he might attribute this surprising non-mishandling of the Windows Phone 7 launch, Thurrott thumbed through his auto-populating list of contacts, browsed through photos of his friends and family, and said: “I don’t know. It’s a mystery. Maybe they’ve replaced Steve Ballmer with a more functional, but still very sweaty robot. I don’t know. Whatever the cause, this is a great goddamn phone. I’m still baffled. I mean, good lord, this is a phone that Microsoft made. Can you believe it?”

Windows Phone 7-enabled phones are available in countries all over the world starting today, November 8, 2010.