Internet Analyst Still Convinced That Being an Internet Analyst is Important

Despite years of failing to correctly predict upcoming trends, to affect worldwide markets in the online space, to explain his job in a way that makes sense to anyone, or to be of interest to anyone other than journalists looking to pad their word counts on a slow news day, Internet Analyst Gene Munster remains convinced that being an Internet Analyst is an important job.

Said Munster: “Lots of people say that being an analyst is a joke, that I’m just making wild guesses about what may or may not be happening, that my accuracy rating — along with almost every other analyst out there — would be improved drastically if I just tossed a coin before making any of my predictions, and that the only way the world would be any different if I didn’t show up for work tomorrow is that Piper Jaffray would have one less paycheque to write. But you know what? They’re wrong: my accuracy rating is already on par with the coin toss.”
Munster concluded by professing genuine shock that Dell hadn’t closed its doors earlier this year in response to prediction that Apple would sell ten times more computers than they would.