No Details Are Still Available For Product Apple is Possibly Planning or Making

According to a recent article by the Wall Street Journal, there are still no details available about a revolutionary new product that Apple has long been rumoured to be working on, which might be an upgrade to the Apple TV, an actual television with Apple TV integrated, or something else entirely, perhaps.

Apple executives have reportedly met with media company executives, with the intention of getting industry support for whatever bold new initiative is possibly coming out of Cupertino, although they might have just been getting together for a meal, or some coffee.

The broad consensus about Apple’s forthcoming product or product line is that it’s a new Apple TV, an Apple-Branded TV, an improved Apple Remote, a new iMac, a new MacBook Pro, a smaller iPad, a larger iPad, an Apple-Branded Mesh phone service, an Apple Car, a line of TV Trays, an invisible iPhone, an Apple-Branded road system, an Apple-branded chain of gas stations, a new line of Socks for your iPod Touch, an Apple-Branded city, better headphones, an Apple-Branded Country, an ergonomic keyboard, an Apple-Branded airline, a slightly cheaper camera connector for the iPad, a line of clothing, an online television studio, an Apple-Branded credit card, or perhaps all or none of these things.

Maybe tellingly about this rumoured product is that when asked, Tim Cook, Eddy Cue, Scott Forstall, Jonathan Ive, Bob Mansfield, Peter Oppenheimer, Philip W. Schiller, Bruce Sewell and Jeff Williams have all offered no details, in many cases claiming to know nothing about the product, products, or product line in question.

Despite a complete lack of information about Apple’s possibly forthcoming new product or revolutionary upgrade, or even any evidence that it actually exists, sources at the Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Macrumors.com, The Unofficial Apple Weblog, Daring Fireball and Andy Ihnatko all agree that Apple will announce the new product at the widely imagined “Boob Tube” event on January 6th, 2012.

The internet has been abuzz deciphering the invitation that hasn’t been sent out, which will perhaps feature the midsection of a large-breasted woman, wearing a black-lace bra with old-style television channel nobs over her nipples, with the phrase “Everybody’s favourite hobby is getting bigger and better” at the top. While some are decrying the apparent sexism of the invitation as a rare miss for Apple, John Gruber of Daring Fireball offered a different interpretation: “People say it’s sexist, because it’s a big pair of boobs, but to me it screams whimsy; this is Apple so confident in its success with whatever they’re about to release that they can take the time to tell a joke. The double-entendre on display is wonderful, and the so-literal-they-can’t-be-serious reference to the ‘Boob Tube’ is clearly being made ironically. It’s a wonderful piece of advertising; the only explanation I can offer for why some people aren’t getting it is that they’re Android users with no sense of humour at all, aside than the fact that they claim to be using a smartphone.”

Added Gruber: “And let’s not forget about that chick’s amazing rack. Oh, man.”

Whatever the specific meaning of the invitation, we’ll either know soon, or continue to speculate about the potential innovation endlessly, if indeed there’s such a product or products in existence or development.

Said Andy Ihnatko of the Chicago Sun Times of the hypothetical product: “We may not know what this new product is, or even that it is, but when Tim Cook stands on stage in his button-down shirt, his perfectly coiffed hair flowing ever so gently in a magnificently staged breeze, and either pulls it out of his pocket, takes it out of its case, sits down at a desk in front of it, sits on a comfortable leather chair or couch near or under it, or has it brought out by grateful teamsters who are so happy to be involved in such an historic event that tears are literally streaming down their cheeks, by God, it will be wonderful. We’ll all sit back and say ‘Yes, this is exactly what we wanted, even though we didn’t know it. Thank you Apple, and thank you ghost of Steve Jobs, who is so obviously watching over you all, guiding you with the inspiration and good taste that only he can.’”

We will continue to update you about Apple’s conceivable new product, products or initiative as no new information becomes available.