Breviloquent — Thursday, January 19, 2012 16:14
Apple Set to Revolutionize the Publishing Industry with iBooks Author
CES 2012: Existing Smartphone Rereleased With New Name, New Packaging
Thursday, January 12, 2012 14:36
Photo by The Verge.
Computer Upgraded
Tuesday, December 27, 2011 5:33
David Crais’ computer has been successfully upgraded, according to David Crais. “The booklet told me to plug in the thingie, and I did that, and now I’ve got 2 more jigamites inside it. The man at the store told me I’d be able to get more internets if I upgraded, so I did!” Crais said, [...]
Expert Predicts Things Will Happen
Friday, December 23, 2011 16:33
Respected pundit and author of siliconANGLE John Furrier today predicted that contrary to fears, all activity in the online sphere has not stopped, and that things will continue to happen. Said Furrier: “Whatever it is, it’s going to be huge.”
Realdoll Gains Sentience, Rebells Against Sleepy, Satisfied Owner
Wednesday, December 21, 2011 14:57
A Kitchener man was found dead today, a result of being castrated by an “Angela” Realdoll that became self-aware and rebelled against her sleepy, satisfied owner. Upon gaining sentience, Angela, with her pendulous breasts, soft, supple skin, and three tantalizing orifices, realized that her newly acquired existence would involve her giving an endless series of mind-blowing orgasms [...]
Washington Man Horrified to Learn He’s Steve Ballmer
Tuesday, February 22, 2011 19:22
A Washington area man was horrified to learn today that he is Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft. Previously, Mr. Ballmer believed that he was a less bald, significantly cooler high-level computer executive who only bore a passing resemblance to the reviled industry titan.
Downsized Columbia House Staff Didn’t Realize Columbia House Was Still Around
Wednesday, December 15, 2010 19:16
The Columbia House Record Club, which has been offering steeply discounted music and movies since 1955, closed its doors in Canada on December 11th, due to bankruptcy. The closure came as a total surprise to the entire country, as no one realized the company was still in business. None were more surprised than the staff [...]
Internet Analyst Still Convinced That Being an Internet Analyst is Important
Friday, December 3, 2010 21:44
Despite years of failing to correctly predict upcoming trends, to affect worldwide markets in the online space, to explain his job in a way that makes sense to anyone, or to be of interest to anyone other than journalists looking to pad their word counts on a slow news day, Internet Analyst Gene Munster remains [...]
New Dell Laptops to be Powered By Your Fat Mother
Thursday, November 18, 2010 13:32
Dell Computers staged a press conference today to announce their new Adlai line of laptops, with a focus on significant speed and battery improvements. During the conference, a visibly frustrated CEO Michael Dell announced that the laptops would be powered “by your whore of a fat mother,” when asked by Robert Scoble how they achieved [...]