News — Wednesday, January 18, 2012 15:33
Microsoft to Fix the Bug in Windows Phone That Makes it Uninteresting to all Smartphone Users
CES 2012: Steve Ballmer Delivers Keynote, and Nobody Gives a Crap
Tuesday, January 10, 2012 15:07
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer delivered the keynote for CES 2012 last night, for some goddamn reason, though precisely nobody, not even Ballmer, seemed to give a shit. This is the last year Microsoft will have such a large and pointless presence at CES, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah [...]
Girl Dies After Not Receiving iPhone 4S For Her Birthday, Like She’d Asked For
Monday, January 9, 2012 14:45
Tragedy struck Santa Ana this weekend when Tiffani Bryce, 16, literally died because she didn’t receive the White iPhone 4S she’d asked for for her birthday. The otherwise happy and healthy young woman dropped dead at her lavish birthday party, which was held in her family’s 12,000-square foot house, and featured a live performance by [...]
BREAKING: Microsoft Clippy Goes on Murderous Rampage
Thursday, January 5, 2012 14:55
Shocking news today as word comes that Microsoft Clippy has gone on a murderous rampage. The Intelligent Agent formerly included in copies of Microsoft Office, who was long the object of scorn and derision by millions of users who hated the appearance of the anthropomorphic paperclip, is currently at large, after apparently embarking on a [...]
Walt Mossberg Accidentally Reviews 29-Year Old Apple IIe, Calls It Revolutionary
Wednesday, January 4, 2012 15:06
The Walt Street Journal suffered a major black eye yesterday, after popular technology columnist Walt Mossberg accidentally reviewed a 29-year old Apple computer, and adorned it with lavish praise. Mossberg, who has written the Personal Technology column for the Journal since 1991, apparently grabbed a 29-year old product box from his closet, and didn’t notice [...]
Twelve Dead, Hundreds Injured After Twitter Outage
Tuesday, January 3, 2012 15:27
An outage of the popular social network Twitter over the weekend has resulted in the death of at least twelve people. The service, known for its intentionally short content — posts can be 140 characters, at most — has found great popularity over the past years for its ability to let friends communicate with each [...]
Apple Rumoured To Be Working On Revolutionary New Versions of Literally Everything
Thursday, December 29, 2011 17:45
Thanks to a new post on The Unofficial Apple Weblog claiming that Apple will be unveiling a new line of mock turtlenecks in early 2012, the Cupertino technology giant, makers of the iPhone, iPad, and iMac, are now rumoured to be at work on revolutionary new versions of literally everything in existence. “It’s clear that [...]
Popular Webcomic Penny Arcade Finally Tells a Joke
Wednesday, December 28, 2011 5:29
Penny Arcade, a popular videogame-related webcomic created by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins, has recently published its very first instalment to feature a joke of any kind. The comic, published online since 1998, has consistently stayed away from attempts to be funny, something that has always bothered its creators. “I feel like we’ve been living a [...]
Bill Gates’ Latest Album, Kernel Panic, Goes Platinum
Tuesday, December 27, 2011 15:14
Bill Gates’ latest album, Kernel Panic, has gone Platinum this week, selling its 1,000,000th copy. This milestone was achieved in just over a month, which is a personal record for the software developer-turned-philanthropist and musician, and a strong indication that Gates is here to stay. Sales of the album were bolstered by the exceptional hype [...]
No Details Are Still Available For Product Apple is Possibly Planning or Making
Friday, December 23, 2011 16:21
According to a recent article by the Wall Street Journal, there are still no details available about a revolutionary new product that Apple has long been rumoured to be working on, which might be an upgrade to the Apple TV, an actual television with Apple TV integrated, or something else entirely, perhaps. Apple executives have [...]