News — Tuesday, January 10, 2012 15:07
Tuesday, February 22, 2011 19:22
A Washington area man was horrified to learn today that he is Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft. Previously, Mr. Ballmer believed that he was a less bald, significantly cooler high-level computer executive who only bore a passing resemblance to the reviled industry titan.
Monday, December 27, 2010 16:37
Hey Microsoft, I love computers. The things that a powerful computer can do are pretty incredible. Add a truly modern operating system to the mix and, ho boy, you feel like you’re on a rocketship to the moon. That’s why I’ve always used your products, Microsoft; sure, you get hammered occasionally for being a slow-moving [...]
Tuesday, November 30, 2010 21:44
Despite selling a stunning 2.5 million units in its first ten days, Microsoft announced today the immediate recall of all units of their brand-new Kinect peripheral for the Xbox 360, citing health concerns for its users. “After a thorough analysis of the Kinect, we’ve come to the conclusion that it it’s not just fun, but [...]
Tuesday, November 16, 2010 18:52
Friday, November 12, 2010 23:49
The computer world was shocked today when Apple, Inc. announced the discontinuation of Microsoft Windows, effective immediately. Long Microsoft’s highest-profile product, Windows is installed on over 1 billion computers world-wide. Despite a staggering 90% global marketshare, and a ubiquity that’s hard to measure, no new versions of Windows will be developed at all. In fact, [...]
Thursday, November 11, 2010 14:00
Hey, it’s me. The Windows Copy File Progress Dialog. Can we talk? I know that you don’t respect me, and that you think I’m stupid. I know that, you don’t have to pretend that it isn’t the case. I know that nobody respects me, because everyone thinks I’m unreliable, that I can’t be trusted. That [...]
Saturday, October 30, 2010 23:29
NOTE: This is a real thing. Honest.